No, I’m not at the gym, watching the local talent.

I’m reading a document that was prepared to help managers communicate about a company initiative. The document covers the “how” and the “what”—and helps with vocabulary, too.

It is impressive. Why? Two reasons.

First, the format is clean and simple: Succinct headings have subheadings that support the main message. And there are no more than three bullet points per subheading.

Second, the language is strong and straightforward, and promotes clarity of roles and responsibilities.

This has caused me to reflect on my own work. I do mostly internal communications and, to my embarrassment, I’ve prepared talking points that simply don’t compare to the quality of this document. My talking points were flabby, busy, and positioned from the point of view of the company. I’ll give you an example:

The company is embarking on a journey of change.

Doesn’t that sound artificial? And when I think about putting that language into the mouths of managers, I realize I did them a disservice. I set them up to sound less than credible or even untrustworthy.

Instead, I could have used better language. Take the “company.” I could have used a pronoun, like, I, you, or we. Instead of a vague “journey of change,” I could have been specific about what was new or different.

While I can’t do anything about the past, I can do something about the future, and write talking points for managers that are muscular, vigorous, and powerful. How about you? How will you write talking points in the future?